Hearing about the impending divorce between Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban was shocking to many of us. Not simply because they are celebrities who have had a long-term marriage but also because of the reports that Kidman did not want this outcome and tried to save the marriage. The disclosure of heartbreak behind the headlines shows us that ending a relationship is difficult for everyone, whether famous or not.
When most people think of divorce, they imagine anger and strife. Certainly these emotions may be present, but divorce is also often marked by sadness, grief, and the painful reality of letting go of a relationship once thought to last forever. In many cases, there is disappointment, fear about the future, and concern for children and the loss of the family unit as well as extended family. Oftentimes divorce is so devastating that it takes years to truly move forward.
As family law attorneys, we are charged with handling the legal aspects of divorce and custody. Nonetheless, we witness firsthand how difficult it is for clients to separate their emotions from the decisions they must make to get through this difficult period. It is our role to be the voice of reason and to guide them to make rational choices when life feels irrational and overwhelming. To do this effectively, there are some tips to keep in mind:
1. Be Willing to Explain.
Not only are many clients feeling upset by their current situation but this may also be their first foray into the legal system. The entire process may feel intimidating. Taking the time to explain what is happening, why certain recommendations are made, and the various choices that they have may help clients feel more in control. It reassures them that they are part of the process rather than simply being led through it. In the long run, this will help them make sound decisions that are right for their future.
2. Employ Patience.
In the midst of busy caseloads and deadlines, it can be challenging for us to slow down and spend the time to truly listen to our clients and answer their questions. That is, until we realize that these tasks are really the heart of our work. Employing patience during these times, even when questions are repeated or emotions spill over, assures clients that we hear them and support them. It also demonstrates our ability to serve as trusted counselors which can be as valuable as the actual legal advice that we provide.
3. Acknowledge Emotions.
Emotions run deep in the practice of family law. While we cannot let ourselves be consumed by every client’s pain, we cannot simply ignore their feelings. Recognizing the emotions our clients are experiencing makes us compassionate and engaged advocates. Yet, while it is critical to acknowledge the emotions of our clients, we must not adopt them, so to best be able to provide sound legal advice and guidance.
There is a reason why many consider divorce as one of life’s greatest hardships. It alters family structures, reshapes futures, and may leave lasting emotional scars. As family law attorneys, it is our job to guide clients through these vulnerable times. Our task is to balance empathy with trusted guidance, ensuring that while we acknowledge our clients’ pain, we also help them make sound decisions about their future. In doing so, we recognize the emotional impact of divorce while fulfilling the professional role entrusted to us.
With more than 25 years of experience in the industry, Jennifer Brandt’s practice includes all aspects of family law including divorce, custody, support, alimony, adoption, and guardianship matters in both Pennsylvania and New Jersey. In addition to family law litigation, she also negotiates prenuptial, post-nuptial and cohabitation agreements on behalf of clients. In addition to her busy practice, she’s a well-known legal commentator on national news networks including CNN, CNN Headline News, Fox News Channel, MSNBC, ABC News, Court TV and local and regional television and radio.
If you have a family law issue or would like her to speak about legal issues, you can connect with Ms. Brandt at www.cozen.com.
